Managing Your Overly Social Young Dog: Building Real Social Skills on Leash

You’ve done all the research, scrolled through countless breeder websites, and finally brought home your perfect Border Collie puppy. You’ve got visions of agility championships dancing in your head and a whole training timeline mapped out like you’re planning the next Marvel phase. But then reality hits harder than a plot twist in a season finale.

Your adorable pup turns into the main character of their own reality show called “Making Friends with Everyone.” Every dog they spot becomes their potential new BFF, every person walking by gets the full flirty-face treatment, and your leash walks start looking like a meet-and-greet tour. If you let people interact with your overly enthusiastic pup, suddenly you’re dealing with jumping, pulling, and basically every behavior that makes you question your life choices.

Here’s the thing – while you definitely want your dog to be friendly and social, what you’re really aiming for is a dog who’s relatively neutral and relaxed in social settings. Think of it like the difference between being the person who talks to everyone at the grocery store versus the person who can navigate Costco on a Saturday without having a meltdown. That’s good social skills.

Let’s get clear on something: social skills aren’t the same thing as socialization. Puppy socialization is that critical 3-12 week window where we’re basically downloading their social operating system. Social skills? That’s teaching your dog to be the cool, collected friend who can walk past a crowd without turning it into a whole production – before behavioral issues like leash reactivity develop. If your young adolescent dog thinks every human and canine is their new bestie, this one’s for you.

First Things First: Best Leash Training Equipment for Overly Social Dogs

You need proper leash training equipment that’s going to let you securely hook a leash to your dog while giving you the ability to navigate social scenarios like you’re conducting air traffic control – but, you know, with treats and a lot more tail wagging.

You’re looking for something that makes you feel secure while giving your dog maximum freedom of movement. Nobody wants to be that person whose dog is doing interpretive dance at the end of a leash. For most of us, that means a well-fitted back-clip harness, or if your dog has the pulling power of a small tractor, a well-fitted front-clip harness.

Harnesses are basically the MVP of dog equipment. They allow freedom of movement through the shoulder joints and neck, letting your dog make natural movements when they’re leashed up. The last thing we want is for our overly social pup to be wearing equipment that makes them feel restricted – that’s like trying to have a calm conversation while wearing a turtleneck that’s two sizes too small. It’s just going to intensify their social drama.

Once you’ve got your dog secured in a well-fitting harness, attach a 6-foot leash. That’s the sweet spot – enough wiggle room for them to express themselves without turning your walk into a full-contact sport.

Understanding the Difference: On-Leash vs. Off-Leash Social Skills in Dogs

Off-leash social skills and on-leash social skills are two completely different games. When we allow our dog off-leash, we’re setting up intentional playtime – those carefully orchestrated play dates where your dog gets to be their full chaotic self with their close dog buddies. During these sessions, dogs are going to run, slam into each other, play-fight, and roll around like they’re auditioning for a canine WWE match. That’s perfectly fine – that’s literally why you set up the play date in the first place.

But on-leash social skills? That’s a whole different energy. When your dog is on a leash, other dogs aren’t potential play buddies – they’re simply part of the scenery. Just another thing that exists in the environment to acknowledge with a casual “oh hey, what’s up” and then keep it moving.

Meeting your dog’s social needs proactively is a crucial piece of this puzzle. If your dog has a social cup the size of a Big Gulp that needs regular refilling, you need to make sure they’re getting plenty of appropriate play dates with well-matched dogs. Think of it as social meal prep – you’re feeding their need to be a complete goofball so they can stay chill when it’s time to be professional.

If your dog’s social needs aren’t being met, expecting them to stay neutral on leash is like expecting yourself to focus during a meeting when you haven’t had your morning coffee. It’s just not happening.

Essential Training Skills for Adolescent Dogs

Next up: you’re going to want to teach your dog all the things. And by “all the things,” I mean sit, down, stay, come, walk on a loose leash, leave it, touch – basically building a vocabulary that would make an honor student jealous. You’ll want to make sure you have these basics locked down and are working on them continuously for the first year of your dog’s life. You can’t expect your dog to nail advanced social situations if you haven’t taught them the fundamentals first. It’s like expecting someone to ace calculus when they’re still counting on their fingers.

In general, most people want a few key skills for their socially skilled dog to absolutely crush it in social environments:

Loose leash walking is a relatively simple concept that’s absolutely not easy to execute. The goal is walking without pulling OR accurately controlling your emotional responses to everything in your environment so perfectly that you never put tension in the leash. It’s definitely something to work on, but fair warning – it takes time and probably more patience than you think you have.

You’ll also want to teach your dog a relaxation protocol – whether that’s a solid down-and-settle or something similar. Think of it as teaching them to find their zen in the middle of chaos.

Targeting is another MVP skill. Teaching your dog to touch their nose to your hand when asked gives you the ability to redirect their movement toward you, away from something, or past something relatively easily. It’s like having a remote control, but cuter.

And finally, a “move quickly with me” cue is an excellent thing to teach. I actually have a whole blog written on that here.

Managing Your Dog’s Excitement and Emotional Responses

Once you’ve got the basics locked down, it’s time to address the emotional side of things. Think about what’s actually happening in your dog’s brain when they spot another dog or person in public. They might be experiencing excitement, joy, a desperate need to make a new bestie, or straight-up hyperarousal caused by all those big feelings swirling around like an emotional tornado.

When we’re looking to change emotions, we focus on counter conditioning – I wrote a whole article about what that actually means here. Counter conditioning works to change the underlying emotional response, which then changes the behavior. Most people think about counter conditioning for fearful or reactive dogs, but it actually works for all sorts of emotions and behaviors.

In this case, we want to condition your young social butterfly to feel calm and relaxed around people and other dogs, essentially preventing dog reactivity through positive associations while turning down the volume on that hyperarousal and over-excitement.

We don’t want your dog to feel uncomfortable or fearful – we just want them to channel their inner zen master instead of acting like they’ve had too much espresso.

How to Use Sniffing Games to Calm Overly Social Dogs

Let’s talk about how to set this up. Counter conditioning is super effective, but how you apply it can be pretty varied and nuanced depending on your specific situation. We’re going to start with a simple approach: using sniffing to counter condition your dog to feel calmer around their triggers.

We’re choosing sniffing because it comes with some serious benefits (I wrote about those here), including the big one – lowering heart rate and encouraging a parasympathetic nervous system response, a.k.a. getting your dog’s body to actually chill out.

Here’s the game setup: Find a spot to sit with your dog on leash in public and lay down a snuffle mat at your feet. Make sure your treat pouch is loaded with high-value food that your dog actually cares about. Then you wait. When your dog gives someone that “OMG, I wanna greet you!” googly-eyed social face, you say “find it” and drop a handful of treats into the snuffle mat, pointing and verbally encouraging your dog to hunt down all the goodies.

By the time they finish vacuuming up the snuffle mat, that person has probably moved on with their life. Then you just rinse and repeat. Every time your dog notices someone and starts having those “hello new friend!” feelings that you’d rather dial down to a solid “meh, whatever,” you redirect to the snuffle mat. Over time, your dog learns that social situations predict you saying “find it” and delivering the goods, which teaches them to feel calm and relaxed in scenarios where they used to get completely wound up.

How to Use a Snuffle Mat for Calm Leash Training

1. Choose a public spot for on-leash social skills training. Make sure you have enough space to sit comfortably while your dog stays leashed.

2. Place a snuffle mat at your dog’s feet to encourage sniffing and focus.

3. Redirect your dog’s attention from people or other dogs by saying “find it” when they perk up or get overly excited.

4. Drop high-value treats into the snuffle mat and encourage your dog to hunt them out — this builds positive associations in public.

5. Wait until your dog finishes sniffing, giving the trigger time to pass without escalating their excitement.

6. Repeat consistently during outings until your dog starts remaining calmer around people and other dogs on leash.

   
   

Learn to Say No (And Mean It)

Get comfortable being the “no” person. You need to master saying things like “You cannot touch my dog,” “No, we’re in training,” and “No, we’re not interested in being pet” without feeling like you need to write an apology essay afterward. There may be times where it makes sense to allow your dog to say hello, but here’s the reality check: the main thing your dog needs practice doing is not saying hello.

When you’re out in public with your dog, if someone approaching is going to cause your dog to turn into a furry pogo stick or practice other behaviors you’d rather avoid, it’s perfectly fine to channel your inner bouncer. Say “Please don’t touch my dog, we’re training,” “No, we’re not interested in saying hi right now,” or just make a U-turn and head the other direction like you just remembered you left the stove on.

It’s your job to advocate for your dog’s needs, including their behavior and training needs. Just because you have your dog out in public doesn’t mean random people are entitled to turn your training session into a meet-and-greet. You’re not being rude – you’re being a responsible dog owner.

Master the Positive Interrupt

The last crucial piece is teaching a cue to help your dog orient back to you. If you do decide to allow your dog to greet someone, you need to be able to call them back at any point, interrupting or preventing problematic behaviors before they get rehearsed and reinforced. If you think your dog is about to launch themselves at someone like they’re crowd-surfing at a concert, you can call them out of the scenario before the jumping happens, reinforce them with treats, and then send them back if appropriate.

This is where a positive interrupt becomes your secret weapon. Pick a sound – like a kissy sound – make that sound, pause one second, then reach into your treat pouch and deliver a treat directly to your dog. Repeat this until your dog starts showing perky ears and an attentive look when you make your chosen sound. Once your dog has this down, you can practice making the sound and pairing it with treats during your regular leash walks.

Finally, you can start using the positive interrupt to call your dog out of social scenarios that are going on too long, causing your dog to start spiraling into chaos mode, or for any other reason – like when your dog is jumping and someone is accidentally reinforcing it by petting them anyway. The positive interrupt gives you a reliable way to get your dog back to you so you can make the best decision moving forward.

Prevent Reactivity Early: Start Social Skills Training Today

Don’t sleep on this training – seriously. Dogs showing over-excitement in social scenarios during adolescence can very easily start developing reactive behaviors if this pattern isn’t addressed. It’s like letting a small problem snowball until it becomes an avalanche of chaos.

If your dog continues to get amped up and overstimulated every time they greet people or other dogs, there’s a real chance that intensity is going to keep escalating. Pretty soon, you might find yourself with a dog who’s lunging, pulling, and making all sorts of dramatic vocalizations the moment they spot someone from across the street – basically turning every walk into a one-dog performance of “I MUST SAY HELLO TO EVERYONE RIGHT NOW.”

Your adolescent social butterfly doesn’t have to become a problem dog. With the right equipment, consistent training, some strategic counter-conditioning, and the confidence to advocate for your dog’s needs, you can help them develop into that cool, calm, and collected companion who can navigate the world with grace. Training an overly social dog is a marathon, not a sprint. Continue to manage situations thoughtfully, do smart training work on your basics, and keep up with that counter conditioning. Pretty soon, your overly social dog will simply be a well-socialized dog.

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Meet Sara: Your Dog’s Guide to Calm, Confident Social Skills

I’m Sara, a dog trainer and behavior consultant with 25+ years helping dogs go from overly social chaos to calm, confident companions. I love working with adolescent dogs and social skills training that prevents reactivity before it starts. Learn more about my approach and why I love helping pups thrive.

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